7th December
I woke about 9, but with Issy still on Perth time and not being able to find the light switch I stayed in bed until 10am. Had breaky before we set off into Melbourne, via Fed Square and the Homeless World Cup. After waiting a while we got seats and watched a ladies and a men’s game – it was really good! Quick lunch (at Maccas, of all places!) before heading for the train to the Opening Ceremony of the WIPCE conference, which was where the delegates had to register.
Getting off the train we read the map, which turned out to give us a bum steer, so we walked and walked before turning around and walking back to find it directly outside the train station. Issy registered before heading outside to where the stalls and stage with cultural demonstrations were set up. We wandered and then sat for a bit (the Kiwi’s were amazing with their dances and haka) before catching the bus back to Fed Square, where we decided to check out the finals of both men’s and women’s. The square was packed, and being a nice sunny afternoon the beer was flowing from the nearby cafes. Afghanistan were the favourites in the men’s and in a really close game they ended up coming through. 
Headed back to the hotel for a drink (nothing less than Chandon) and cheese and biscuits before James, one of the teachers Issy knew who was also attending the conference joined us, and we headed out for dinner at the Casino to Georges where Issy and I shared another bottle of wine and we shared a tiramisu desert that was so rich that we shared. We really wanted the marshmallow and chocolate pizza, but they’d shut the oven down. Then for a walk through the Casino, we decided to have a bit of a punt. Roulette was the game, and my $10 on the $2.50 table didn’t last long. Issy’s $20 lasted a bit longer, having a couple of wins before eventually giving it all back, with a bit extra. Story of the night though was James, who bet on 26, which came up trumps, followed by 20 which came up, and then managed to leave his chip on 20, with Issy realizing halfway through the spin, only to have it come up again! $250 thank you very much!!! Cash that in. So it was James’ shout we went to the bar for a Canadian Club, where we met Steve, who was instantly in love with Issy. We had seen him the night before ordering a weird green drink for a group of ladies, so we asked the question – Madori and milk – puke! He was offering to buy though, so I accepted, and was pleasantly surprised! Issy wasn’t so open minded, so went with another Smirnoff. After a number of fleeting visits, I broke the bad news that she was actually married, at which point his fleeting visits then became focused on me. We had also started chatting to a group attending the conference, all drinking, so the conversations are getting quite animated. All of a sudden a fight breaks out behind us, and Issy starts yelling ‘Security Isle 9’. One guy is decked and bleeding, almost knocked out and definitely out of sorts. The bar was closing so we headed off to find another, but not before Steve, who was showing off his muscles (‘Speedball, Speedball, Speedball’ to our reply ‘Wank, Wank’) just about got us kicked out of the Casino for being too loud and disturbing the pokie players. Very, very funny. We found another bar and started on beer – I was sure I was going to be crook in the morning! We chatted and drank with about 8 guys and girls from various parts of Australia, with some pokie playing in the middle, before leaving the Cas about 4am, with the conference starting in less than 4 ½ hours. Got home and in bed for 4.30am – oh my god!
I woke about 9, but with Issy still on Perth time and not being able to find the light switch I stayed in bed until 10am. Had breaky before we set off into Melbourne, via Fed Square and the Homeless World Cup. After waiting a while we got seats and watched a ladies and a men’s game – it was really good! Quick lunch (at Maccas, of all places!) before heading for the train to the Opening Ceremony of the WIPCE conference, which was where the delegates had to register.
Getting off the train we read the map, which turned out to give us a bum steer, so we walked and walked before turning around and walking back to find it directly outside the train station. Issy registered before heading outside to where the stalls and stage with cultural demonstrations were set up. We wandered and then sat for a bit (the Kiwi’s were amazing with their dances and haka) before catching the bus back to Fed Square, where we decided to check out the finals of both men’s and women’s. The square was packed, and being a nice sunny afternoon the beer was flowing from the nearby cafes. Afghanistan were the favourites in the men’s and in a really close game they ended up coming through. 
Headed back to the hotel for a drink (nothing less than Chandon) and cheese and biscuits before James, one of the teachers Issy knew who was also attending the conference joined us, and we headed out for dinner at the Casino to Georges where Issy and I shared another bottle of wine and we shared a tiramisu desert that was so rich that we shared. We really wanted the marshmallow and chocolate pizza, but they’d shut the oven down. Then for a walk through the Casino, we decided to have a bit of a punt. Roulette was the game, and my $10 on the $2.50 table didn’t last long. Issy’s $20 lasted a bit longer, having a couple of wins before eventually giving it all back, with a bit extra. Story of the night though was James, who bet on 26, which came up trumps, followed by 20 which came up, and then managed to leave his chip on 20, with Issy realizing halfway through the spin, only to have it come up again! $250 thank you very much!!! Cash that in. So it was James’ shout we went to the bar for a Canadian Club, where we met Steve, who was instantly in love with Issy. We had seen him the night before ordering a weird green drink for a group of ladies, so we asked the question – Madori and milk – puke! He was offering to buy though, so I accepted, and was pleasantly surprised! Issy wasn’t so open minded, so went with another Smirnoff. After a number of fleeting visits, I broke the bad news that she was actually married, at which point his fleeting visits then became focused on me. We had also started chatting to a group attending the conference, all drinking, so the conversations are getting quite animated. All of a sudden a fight breaks out behind us, and Issy starts yelling ‘Security Isle 9’. One guy is decked and bleeding, almost knocked out and definitely out of sorts. The bar was closing so we headed off to find another, but not before Steve, who was showing off his muscles (‘Speedball, Speedball, Speedball’ to our reply ‘Wank, Wank’) just about got us kicked out of the Casino for being too loud and disturbing the pokie players. Very, very funny. We found another bar and started on beer – I was sure I was going to be crook in the morning! We chatted and drank with about 8 guys and girls from various parts of Australia, with some pokie playing in the middle, before leaving the Cas about 4am, with the conference starting in less than 4 ½ hours. Got home and in bed for 4.30am – oh my god! 8th December
What the???? Alarm going off at 8.45, no wait, it’s a phone. Where am I? Oh, Melbourne. James was calling Issy to find out where she was. ‘Meet you there’. Back to sleep, she got up about 9.30am, left about 10.15am. These curtains are soooo good!!! Got up, breaky, shower and internet before heading to Windsor to return some stuff to the car and pick up stuff I’d forgotten. Dropped into the post office and drycleaners before catching the tram back to the Arts Centre and walking back to the apartment. TV and internet until Issy and James got home with some shopping, so cheese, biscuits and wine. Time to find out the address of James Hird’s restaurant. My internet had run out, so we then attempted to get on the computers downstairs, and eventually found it and directions. Rang to book, only to find they were closed Monday nights (we did actually find that out the night before!). Issy had a revelation whilst in the shower that a quiet night at the movies might be a good idea, so we got ready and headed into Melbourne Centre, picking up dinner (Subway and KFC). Bond, James Bond was the choice so with choc bombs in hand we headed in... and then all struggled to stay awake. Whether that was because we’d had a big night, or because the movie was actually pretty average I won’t say, but definitely rated Australia as a better flick. Wandered back home, in bed by midnight.
What the???? Alarm going off at 8.45, no wait, it’s a phone. Where am I? Oh, Melbourne. James was calling Issy to find out where she was. ‘Meet you there’. Back to sleep, she got up about 9.30am, left about 10.15am. These curtains are soooo good!!! Got up, breaky, shower and internet before heading to Windsor to return some stuff to the car and pick up stuff I’d forgotten. Dropped into the post office and drycleaners before catching the tram back to the Arts Centre and walking back to the apartment. TV and internet until Issy and James got home with some shopping, so cheese, biscuits and wine. Time to find out the address of James Hird’s restaurant. My internet had run out, so we then attempted to get on the computers downstairs, and eventually found it and directions. Rang to book, only to find they were closed Monday nights (we did actually find that out the night before!). Issy had a revelation whilst in the shower that a quiet night at the movies might be a good idea, so we got ready and headed into Melbourne Centre, picking up dinner (Subway and KFC). Bond, James Bond was the choice so with choc bombs in hand we headed in... and then all struggled to stay awake. Whether that was because we’d had a big night, or because the movie was actually pretty average I won’t say, but definitely rated Australia as a better flick. Wandered back home, in bed by midnight.
9th December
Got up late, turned on the tv, computer and had some breaky before a phone call from Matt and Jas, who were on the train headed for Melbourne. Deciding to meet them I threw myself in to the shower and headed down to Flinders St where Matt and I then played phone tag trying to work out where we were. There was a massive funeral on at the Cathedral of politician Frank Crean, so the bells were going and the police had blocked off the street – nightmare! Eventually found Matt and we headed for Bridge Rd, via the river and past the MCG. Walked down Bridge Rd, dodging the rain drops and then back up again, with me making the first purchase (and I wasn’t even looking!!!). Jas bought a jacket – beautiful, before we headed to St Kilda via George for me to grab a brolly and a jacket. Down Ackland St to the pub I’d met Brenden and Pete at for $11 burger and beers. Mine was average but they loved theirs – 4pm lunch! Back on the tram to the City we got off at Crown and dodged the rain to get back to the hotel, for red wine and cards. Issy arrived home and we headed out (walking again, Matt and Jas hadn’t walked so much in a while, hopefully since we’d been to visit them in Brisbane). Walked to Lygon St, where Matt had been previously, and although we had Entertainment Vouchers sussed out a few menus along
the way, stopping when we were offered free wine and entre just for eating here. Menu looked good, and Matt and Jas loved their meals, my prawns were good but the sauce wasn’t the best I’ve had (by this stage I’m beginning to think I’ve become very fussy!!! We drank the wine and chatted, we had a great time. Couldn’t think about desert we walked back to Central Station where I said goodbye and wandered back in the drizzle, taking photos along the way. At the hotel just before 11pm where Issy and James were watching tv. James said good night, in bed by midnight but chatted for ages, about a whole heap of goss I’d missed out on!!!New cars, jobs, babies – you leave for 4 months and lose track of everything!
Got up late, turned on the tv, computer and had some breaky before a phone call from Matt and Jas, who were on the train headed for Melbourne. Deciding to meet them I threw myself in to the shower and headed down to Flinders St where Matt and I then played phone tag trying to work out where we were. There was a massive funeral on at the Cathedral of politician Frank Crean, so the bells were going and the police had blocked off the street – nightmare! Eventually found Matt and we headed for Bridge Rd, via the river and past the MCG. Walked down Bridge Rd, dodging the rain drops and then back up again, with me making the first purchase (and I wasn’t even looking!!!). Jas bought a jacket – beautiful, before we headed to St Kilda via George for me to grab a brolly and a jacket. Down Ackland St to the pub I’d met Brenden and Pete at for $11 burger and beers. Mine was average but they loved theirs – 4pm lunch! Back on the tram to the City we got off at Crown and dodged the rain to get back to the hotel, for red wine and cards. Issy arrived home and we headed out (walking again, Matt and Jas hadn’t walked so much in a while, hopefully since we’d been to visit them in Brisbane). Walked to Lygon St, where Matt had been previously, and although we had Entertainment Vouchers sussed out a few menus along
the way, stopping when we were offered free wine and entre just for eating here. Menu looked good, and Matt and Jas loved their meals, my prawns were good but the sauce wasn’t the best I’ve had (by this stage I’m beginning to think I’ve become very fussy!!! We drank the wine and chatted, we had a great time. Couldn’t think about desert we walked back to Central Station where I said goodbye and wandered back in the drizzle, taking photos along the way. At the hotel just before 11pm where Issy and James were watching tv. James said good night, in bed by midnight but chatted for ages, about a whole heap of goss I’d missed out on!!!New cars, jobs, babies – you leave for 4 months and lose track of everything!10th December
Alarm at 6.50am, we were going for a run. Started at a cracking pace, I really have been slacking off!!! Along the river to Punt Rd Jetty, which wasn’t bad in 15 minutes. Stretch and the return journey. Very nice. Issy got ready and left, with me out the door about 11.30. Headed for the Old Melbourne Gaol that we had walked past the day before. Arrived just after 12 and started on the bottom of the 3 floors of cells. At 12.45pm they had a play on, about human rights, being the 60th anniversary. Was very good, two completely different perspectives on human rights. Back into the prison to do the rest of the cells, before trying to catch the 2.45pm tour of the watch-house (lock-up). Ran across to the deli for some food and by the time I came back was too late, so I wandered over to the Exhibition Centre, which is one of the 7 man-made wonders of the
world. A really amazing building, and you could only see the outside!!! Got back to the gaol for the 3.45pm tour, and oh my god, talk about realistic. We were certainly got the treatment. ‘Right sawdust brain, in you go, line up against the walk, no talking. You will answer all questions with Yes Sergeant or No Sergeant, do I make myself clear’ ‘Yes Sergeant’. Explained the body search, line up, cells and literally took us through and locked us up in a cell and switched off the lights. Could have been a bit confronting, had us girls not been giggling!!! Gave us a chance to look round the men’s block before taking us to the women’s and explaining how they would have slept. Lined us all up again ‘you wankers, can’t you bloody follow instructions’, before saying she was actually an actor, really a nice person and thanks for being good sports. We took some mug shot photos before I headed back through the city to the hotel, stopping for a bottle of wine along the way. Got back and pigged out on nuts and salt and vinegar chips before Issy arrived and we got ready for dinner – Red Mullet, James Hird’s restaurant. Down to Flinders St and onto the tram, arriving right on 8.30pm. Really nice restaurant and it was packed, so we waiting at the bar for our table, which wasn’t long. Ordered dips before our mains – Issy and I shared garlic prawns and her sweet thai fish, which was absolutely beautiful! Issy took ages to eat her meal, with the waiter eventually clearing 
James and my plates before she’d finish, just incase Hirdy was going to turn up late. After finishing she asked the waiter if he was likely to come, with no being the answer, which led to a 45 minute conversation (he actually sat down at our table) about James, 
and his wife and kids and the restaurant. Eventually Mark went upstairs and brought Issy back a restaurant hat, not signed, but in red and black none the less. Stoked!!! Had a photo, before Issy wrote James a note (in red and black pen) and we said goodbye – it was one of the funniest hours of dinner! Waited for about 5 minutes for the tram and arrived back around 11.15, where we all went on to the internet. I got back upstairs about 1am, exhausted!
Alarm at 6.50am, we were going for a run. Started at a cracking pace, I really have been slacking off!!! Along the river to Punt Rd Jetty, which wasn’t bad in 15 minutes. Stretch and the return journey. Very nice. Issy got ready and left, with me out the door about 11.30. Headed for the Old Melbourne Gaol that we had walked past the day before. Arrived just after 12 and started on the bottom of the 3 floors of cells. At 12.45pm they had a play on, about human rights, being the 60th anniversary. Was very good, two completely different perspectives on human rights. Back into the prison to do the rest of the cells, before trying to catch the 2.45pm tour of the watch-house (lock-up). Ran across to the deli for some food and by the time I came back was too late, so I wandered over to the Exhibition Centre, which is one of the 7 man-made wonders of the
world. A really amazing building, and you could only see the outside!!! Got back to the gaol for the 3.45pm tour, and oh my god, talk about realistic. We were certainly got the treatment. ‘Right sawdust brain, in you go, line up against the walk, no talking. You will answer all questions with Yes Sergeant or No Sergeant, do I make myself clear’ ‘Yes Sergeant’. Explained the body search, line up, cells and literally took us through and locked us up in a cell and switched off the lights. Could have been a bit confronting, had us girls not been giggling!!! Gave us a chance to look round the men’s block before taking us to the women’s and explaining how they would have slept. Lined us all up again ‘you wankers, can’t you bloody follow instructions’, before saying she was actually an actor, really a nice person and thanks for being good sports. We took some mug shot photos before I headed back through the city to the hotel, stopping for a bottle of wine along the way. Got back and pigged out on nuts and salt and vinegar chips before Issy arrived and we got ready for dinner – Red Mullet, James Hird’s restaurant. Down to Flinders St and onto the tram, arriving right on 8.30pm. Really nice restaurant and it was packed, so we waiting at the bar for our table, which wasn’t long. Ordered dips before our mains – Issy and I shared garlic prawns and her sweet thai fish, which was absolutely beautiful! Issy took ages to eat her meal, with the waiter eventually clearing 
James and my plates before she’d finish, just incase Hirdy was going to turn up late. After finishing she asked the waiter if he was likely to come, with no being the answer, which led to a 45 minute conversation (he actually sat down at our table) about James, 
and his wife and kids and the restaurant. Eventually Mark went upstairs and brought Issy back a restaurant hat, not signed, but in red and black none the less. Stoked!!! Had a photo, before Issy wrote James a note (in red and black pen) and we said goodbye – it was one of the funniest hours of dinner! Waited for about 5 minutes for the tram and arrived back around 11.15, where we all went on to the internet. I got back upstairs about 1am, exhausted! 11th December
Issy’s up, James arrives and they are gone by 8.30am. Reorganised my suitcase before having breaky and leaving at 10.30. Headed to Prahran to collect George and move him to a more suitable location for the next couple of weeks. Arrived, dumped a bag of stuff and went to pick up my dry cleaning... which wasn’t ready. Went back to Buddah’s Belly for a coffee (glad I’d taken my laptop with me) for an hour before heading to an internet cafe to check in and print off our boarding tickets. Collected the dry cleaning, which apparently wasn’t actually dry cleanable, and headed back to George for a trip to Coburg to drop him off. Took a while to get through Chappell St (although not as long as it has done) and was at the caravan park for 2 ish. Parked, sorted the account and got the details for when I’m back at Christmas and jumped on the 2.45pm bus and then the tram. Trip took an hour, so back at the hotel for 4pm where Issy and I drank some more wine and ate the cheese and biscuits (which would end up being dinner!) before getting ready to head out about 7.30pm to the WIPCE closing ceremony (which started at 7pm!). Headed in and were entertained until 11pm with some fantastic displays of cultural dances, comedy and singing (and even the wardrobe malfunction!). Headed for home, we stopped at a pub on the river for a drink before back to the good ol’ faithful Cas, and ran into Aaron Hamill (St Kilda Footy Club) who was absolutely hot, so Issy went up and shook his hand. Wandered around, had a couple of drinks, lost some money (I didn’t bet) before meeting Ryan, a local who wasn’t really interested in gambling with his housemate, so him Issy and I headed for a seat near the bar. Found James and Issy and him went for some more bets while I chatted until they returned unlucky on number 5. Left about 4 I think.
Issy’s up, James arrives and they are gone by 8.30am. Reorganised my suitcase before having breaky and leaving at 10.30. Headed to Prahran to collect George and move him to a more suitable location for the next couple of weeks. Arrived, dumped a bag of stuff and went to pick up my dry cleaning... which wasn’t ready. Went back to Buddah’s Belly for a coffee (glad I’d taken my laptop with me) for an hour before heading to an internet cafe to check in and print off our boarding tickets. Collected the dry cleaning, which apparently wasn’t actually dry cleanable, and headed back to George for a trip to Coburg to drop him off. Took a while to get through Chappell St (although not as long as it has done) and was at the caravan park for 2 ish. Parked, sorted the account and got the details for when I’m back at Christmas and jumped on the 2.45pm bus and then the tram. Trip took an hour, so back at the hotel for 4pm where Issy and I drank some more wine and ate the cheese and biscuits (which would end up being dinner!) before getting ready to head out about 7.30pm to the WIPCE closing ceremony (which started at 7pm!). Headed in and were entertained until 11pm with some fantastic displays of cultural dances, comedy and singing (and even the wardrobe malfunction!). Headed for home, we stopped at a pub on the river for a drink before back to the good ol’ faithful Cas, and ran into Aaron Hamill (St Kilda Footy Club) who was absolutely hot, so Issy went up and shook his hand. Wandered around, had a couple of drinks, lost some money (I didn’t bet) before meeting Ryan, a local who wasn’t really interested in gambling with his housemate, so him Issy and I headed for a seat near the bar. Found James and Issy and him went for some more bets while I chatted until they returned unlucky on number 5. Left about 4 I think.
12 December
Woke about 7 before getting up and having a shower. Today was not going to be a good day to be exhausted!!! Issy was up as I got out of the bathroom, and I had some breakfast while we organised our stuff. Checked out at 10am and walked over to Flinders St, where we said goodbye to James and headed off on a hunt for a present for Montana. Ended up in Myers, with queues a mile long we went downstairs to pay, only to have it rung up wrong (and running out of time) we got it half fixed and set a pretty decent pace on the way back to the hotel. We loaded what seemed like a dozen bags into the taxi and were off. Only 25 minutes, we arrived and checked-in, bags on (and within weight!) and we were set! Down to the far end of the airport we didn’t have long to wait before we were called onboard. Seated, organised we sat back and relaxed, waiting for the plane to take off... waiting, waiting... and eventually we were on our way home. Lunch was pretty good, ice creams were nice, wine (2 glasses) went down a treat, pitty about the very average movie, which we watched for about a minute before deciding that wasn’t going to happen. And then ... Touchdown (thanks Mark Holden) I was back home for two weeks of rest and relaxation..... yeah right!
Woke about 7 before getting up and having a shower. Today was not going to be a good day to be exhausted!!! Issy was up as I got out of the bathroom, and I had some breakfast while we organised our stuff. Checked out at 10am and walked over to Flinders St, where we said goodbye to James and headed off on a hunt for a present for Montana. Ended up in Myers, with queues a mile long we went downstairs to pay, only to have it rung up wrong (and running out of time) we got it half fixed and set a pretty decent pace on the way back to the hotel. We loaded what seemed like a dozen bags into the taxi and were off. Only 25 minutes, we arrived and checked-in, bags on (and within weight!) and we were set! Down to the far end of the airport we didn’t have long to wait before we were called onboard. Seated, organised we sat back and relaxed, waiting for the plane to take off... waiting, waiting... and eventually we were on our way home. Lunch was pretty good, ice creams were nice, wine (2 glasses) went down a treat, pitty about the very average movie, which we watched for about a minute before deciding that wasn’t going to happen. And then ... Touchdown (thanks Mark Holden) I was back home for two weeks of rest and relaxation..... yeah right!
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